Sources of Emotional Pain


What are the main types and causes of emotional pain?


There are three primary sources of emotional pain:
Lack of self worth - a low self concept. This may seem
obvious, but how can it happen? The answer is often
found in the lack of a positive concept stressed by
significant people, mainly parents, during early
childhood. For example, parents may place unrealistic
demands on the first child. Simply because of this
pressure, the oldest child tends to be the most
"successful" in career terms. Unfortunately, happiness"
is not so easily obtained. These children seldom believe
they have achieved enough to please their demanding
parents. The youngest child, on the other hand, is often
smothered and overprotected. Hating to see her "baby"
grow up may allow the youngest to become overly
dependent. A doting father may wish to protect a
daughter from the dangers of a cruel world and keep
his "little girl" forever. These are subtle messages that
signal the children can't survive on his or her own
Childhood is generally the time of life when self-esteem
must be properly established. Encourage your children
to tell you abut their painful experiences. Compliment
them when you see exceptional character traits.
A second source of emotional pain is lack of intimacy
with others or loneliness. Humans are social beings; we
are designed to need one another. But human beings
are also basically selfish. We like having our own way.
This leads to poor relationships which produces
loneliness. Loneliness is a choice, like happiness. Many
loners imagine other people do not want to get close to
them, when in reality they are rejecting intimacy that
may be offered. Thus, the defense mechanism know as
"projection" superimposes one's own behavior onto
others. They have chosen to be lonely, yet hold others
accountable for their pains.
The third source of emotional pain is lack of intimacy
with God. Deep within each human is an inner
emptiness that can be filled only by a personal
relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Answered by: Dr. Robert Rice